Sexuality

Around one in ten people are attracted to people of the same sex. Some people may be attracted to both boys and girls. For young people who are discovering these feelings it can be a confusing or lonely time. It can be very hard if they feel that the people around them won't understand or agree with what they're feeling, or if they have been told that it is 'unnatural' or 'wrong.'

If you have been having feelings like this, remember that you are not alone in having them, and these feelings are normal and acceptable.

Some words explained

Gay - men who are attracted to other men
Lesbian - women who are attracted to other women
Homosexual - A word for gay and lesbian people
Bi-sexual - people who are attracted to both men and women
Transgendered - this refers to transsexuals, transvestites and cross dressers. See 'Transgender / Gender diversity' section for more details.
Straight / heterosexual - people who are attracted to the opposite sex
GLB or GLBT - this stands for 'Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual' or 'Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgender'

What am I?

Young people attracted to people of the same sex, may think (or be told) that it is just a phase they are going through. Sometimes, this may be true. People of any age can go through a time where they may be attracted to someone of the same sex as them. The feeling might pass.

If the feelings stay with them, or are very strong, then they could be gay, lesbian or bi-sexual. Accepting this can be hard.

There is no 'test' to find out what these feelings are. It may be best to find out more information about other people's experiences, by reading about them or talking to others.

It may be a good idea to speak to a GLBT youth group or a counsellor who understands GLBT issues. See contacts for local organisations that can help or advise you about local counsellors.

'Coming Out'

'Coming Out' is when someone tells the people around them about their sexuality for the first time. For many, the fear of not knowing how people will react makes it a nerve-wracking and emotional experience.

If you are thinking about coming out, remember that there's no rush - you can choose when to do it. No one should ever push you into it.

Take your time and think about what might be a good time to tell your family and friends. They may need time to understand what you are saying and may ask a lot of questions. Gay Youth UK has good information and tips about coming out.

Bullying

Some young people may experience 'homophobic' bullying. 'Homophobic' people do not agree with gay and lesbian lifestyles and think they are 'wrong.' This, or any other kind of bullying, is not acceptable.
Homophobic bullies might use words like 'gay', 'lesbian', 'batty boy', 'poof', 'gaylord' or 'queer'. Some bullies may use these terms to abuse people who are not gay, lesbian or bi-sexual.
Get more information about bullying.

The West Midlands Police website has a section on homophobic crime where you can report incidents. It is listed under 'H' on the A-Z page.

Transgender / gender diversity

There are a very few people who feel they were born with the wrong body - men who feel they should have been born women and women who feel they should have been men.
Below are some terms you may have heard:

Transsexual - A person who feels an overwhelming desire to swap genders and live as a member of the opposite sex. Most transsexuals have surgery to make them a member of the opposite sex.
Transvestite - A name for a 'cross dresser', a person who dresses in the clothing of the opposite sex. Most transvestites do not want to alter their body.
Transgender - A term for both transsexuals and transvestites. A transgenderist can also be a person who swaps gender. However, they generally do not 'go the whole way' with surgery but instead live as a member of the opposite sex with the help of hormone therapy or cosmetic surgery.
Intersex - A term covering a wide range of conditions, where it is hard to tell the gender of a child at birth. They may have both male and female genitalia, or genitalia that is not fully formed. Such people are often subject attempts at surgical 'correction' early in life, which may cause major problems later.

How can I find out more? Contact:

The Gender Trust

PO Box 3192, Brighton BN1 3WR
Tel: 07000 790347.
e-mail:info@gendertrust.org.uk

Information written with members of the x2y group in Wolverhampton

Contacts

BPSG

A website for parents of GLBT young people, which gives a lot of useful advice and also has a support group.

Lesbian and Gay Switchboard (West Midlands)

Advice and information on being gay, lesbian or bisexual
Tel: 0121 622 6589

Lesbian, Gay and Bi-sexual Youth Group:

For further information, telephone the SPACE Project on 0121 544 3737

Queer Youth

Provides a comprehensive list of youth groups in UK, as well as other information

Shout

A group of young people in Sandwell dedicated to improving services and provision in the borough for LGBT young people. One of their aims is to establish an LGBT Youth Club.

For more information or to get involved with the group, contact Pat Dey on 0121 569 8443 / 07973 550738 or email patrusha_dey@sandwell.gov.uk

x2y (Wolverhampton)

X2Y Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered youth group. The group is open to young people under 25 who identify themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or anyone who is questioning their sexuality.
Tel: 0800 073 0233
e-mail: info@x2y.org.uk
Location: Base25, Wheeler's Fold, Wolverhampton. WV1 1ST.